Obituary for Rebena Thompson Graham

Growing up in a household with parents J.W. Graham and Rebena Graham, we learned early on the concept of Graham Time, that is, bags could be packed for a road trip to see family that would remain by the door until Dad bellowed, “Let’s ramble,” which was usually days later. They were a fitting pair because Rebena was often late and liked to say, with a smile, an exclamation point and genuine optimism: “They can’t start without me!” 

So, here we are, siblings holding Rebena’s celebration of life service, Oct. 25, 2025, over four years after God blessed her with 90 fun-filled years on earth, before calling her home, as she slept in a new nightgown, on July 19, 2021.

Rebena was the second identical twin born on Feb. 10, 1931, five minutes after her sister, Shervena, in Little Rock, Ark., to parents Sherrod and Melvena Thompson. Her sister’s name was a merging of the parents’ names, while Rebena was originally going to be Reubena, named after Reuben, until Melvena, the story goes, fussed with Reuben, and scratched the “u” out of the birth certificate. Mama Thompson’s pen perhaps infused that special brand of southern spunk and spitfiredness into her second born.

Rebena loved traveling and meeting people. At the age of 17, she and her cousin Wilma set off for Colorado to sell magazine subscriptions. Later in life, Shervena joined Rebena for various international trips: in Scotland they celebrated Hogmanay, what we call New Year’s Eve; in the Holy Land, they visited Bethlehem, rode donkeys at Jordan’s historic Petra, and saw Egypt’s Great Pyramids. Closer to home, Rebena thought nothing of pulling the kids out of school to drive ten hours from Chattanooga, Tenn., to Hot Springs, Ark., while playing “states and capitals” to go to the horse races with Shervena.

In 1962, when dapper, 6’3” portrait company owner J.W., registered at Melvena’s Thompson Motel in Hot Springs, Ark., for Oaklawn’s horse racing season, (pssst who courted Rebena with fried chicken livers from Freeman Center), at the end of that season, you can see how Rebena called up the bank where she worked as a teller, and told her boss, she “was hitting the road,” and left the key to the bank with her Mother and off she went to the great state of Georgia to join her three children with Joe’s three children in Macon.

Rebena was a member of Bellevue Baptist Church in Macon, Ga., and when the family moved to Chattanooga, Rebena became a member of Central Baptist Church. Later in life, when she returned to Hot Springs, Ark., she renewed her membership at Central Baptist Church where she and her twin sister were often church greeters.

Rebena valued education. She loved American history and began her college career with a semester at Arkansas Tech in 1948 after graduating Russellville High School, where she and Shervena were majorettes. She next entered the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga in 1980, where her son, Jim, and daughter, Mary, had graduated. She loved her history professor, Dr. James Ward, and her fellow students enjoyed her because she sat in the front row and was not afraid to speak up and talk about the Depression from her life experience. She started there when her youngest daughter started seventh grade. She always said, “where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Rebena graduated from Lookout Mountain’s Covenant College through its Quest Program for adult degree completion in 1988, earning a B.S. degree in Organizational Behavior.

Rebena was an excellent public speaker who knew how to grab the audience’s attention and keep it. While she was a bank teller in 1962, the bank president encouraged her to enroll in the Dale Carnegie course. She excelled in the class and spent a lifetime championing the principles, encouraging anyone she could to take the course.

Rebena earned her real estate license in Chattanooga, and made quite a name for herself in the 1990s when she sold a home on the Tennessee River to iconic southerner, Dixie Carter, of Designing Women television fame, before Rebena moved to Hot Springs, Ark., in 1999, into a home next door to Shervena.

While Rebena and Shervena spent most of their lives in different cities, they thrived as the Twin Team realtors with Crye-Leike Realty in Hot Springs. They also won the hat contest during Hot Springs’ St. Paddy’s Day celebration. They were both devoted members of the Red Hat Society and enjoyed attending many luncheons. Rebena and Shervena were honorary attendees during Pets are Loving Support’s Red Hat Society bingo in Atlanta and legendary hostess, Bubba D. Licious, brought them both up on stage where Rebena and Shervena mesmerized the fun-loving crowd with their outrageous outfits and engaging storytelling, and made Bubba an honorary “-ena sister” as their sister Bubba-bena.

Rebena also served as Regent of the Hot Springs of Arkansas Chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution, and she and Shervena regularly traveled to area schools dressed like Betsy Ross to talk about the Constitution and American history. She was a fierce supporter of the Constitution and handed copies of it to anyone she met, because she carried a couple at a time in her purse. This could be at the grocery store, or with a serviceman coming to her house to fix a broken dryer, she’d pull out her copy of the Constitution and hand it to them. “You read and know your Constitution,” she’d say emphatically.

She had an artistic sensibility and an eye for colors and textures. Rebena often shared how her art teacher at UTC told her she wanted to give Rebena an A+ but the grading system didn’t allow it! Even if Rebena didn’t have a dress pattern she could make her own on the dining room table, and spend the night making the dress to wear it the next day.

Rebena was part magician and only God knows how she manifested so many suppers over the years when J.W. arrived late at night in Chattanooga, many times bringing several portrait company employees to spend the night. Fried pork chops, mashed potatoes and gravy, blackeyed peas, collard greens, slaw and skillet cornbread was one of her signature suppers. She often said that Sandi, Sheila and Dianah, along with Mary, Jim, and Mark, suffered through many batches of biscuits in Macon that she pitched out before learning how to make them from her sister-in-law, Bessie Graham. Sometimes, there could be limited supplies in the kitchen but somehow Rebena managed to whip up full spreads of southern cooking and many pots of black coffee.

Rebena loved dancing the jitterbug, showing off her moves with her sister and her sons, and grandsons.

She lived her dogs, too many to list, but including Penny, Poppy, and Elvis. She loved attending the horse races at Oaklawn. Rebena loved attending Arkansas Tech reunions and later in life, both Rebena and Shervena got to march on the Tech football field with generations of majorettes during a Homecoming game. Rebena donated one of their framed majorette portraits to the Arkansas Tech University Museum.

When she faced challenges, Rebena relied on her Christian faith and her eternal optimism along with a lot of common sense. She often said, “don’t sweat the small stuff, it’s all small stuff, give it a lick and a promise,” and “let’s get a good night’s rest and we’ll figure this out tomorrow.”

Rebena was preceded in death by her husband, J.W. Graham; sister, Rose Marie Thompson; son, Mark Shane Stephens; and brother, Sherrod Thompson.

Those left to cherish so many memories: daughters, Sandi Anness of Milledgeville, Ga.; Mary Skaggs of Hot Springs, Ark.; Sheila Williams (Larry) of Cairo, Ga.; Dianah Smith of Fort Valley, Ga.; and Sally Graham (Paul Barnes) of Alexandria, Va.; sons, Jim Lewis (Sharon) of Chattanooga, Tenn., and Joe Graham of Lilburn, Ga.; brother, Fred Thompson (Lynda) of San Marcos, Calif.; sister-in-law, Judy Thompson, of Hot Springs, Ark; eight grandchildren, 14 great-grandchildren, one great-great grandchild, and a host of nieces, nephews, cousins, friends and her church community at Central Baptist Church.

Arrangements are entrusted to Stokes-Southerland Funeral Home, 206 5th Avenue, Eastman, Ga. The family will gather at Southerland Funeral Chapel on Oct. 25, 2025, from 10:00AM to 10:30AM to receive family and friends. A celebration of life service will follow at 10:30AM in the chapel, with Elder Larry Williams officiating. The family is honoring Rebena’s wish that her son Mark be buried beside her. This is a time of celebration, and all who knew the family are welcome to join in this time to talk stories and reminisce about a loving son and a great lady, who liked to say, “let’s have a great day!”